23 March 2006
National Archives films on Google Video
Over 70 years ago, the National Archives was founded to preserve American historical documents, as well as the moments and events that could be saved in still photos, films, and audio recordings. Today the Archives is home to everything from rare historical footage (newsreels and government documentaries from the 1930s) to the 1969 moon landing. Now Google is launching a pilot program to digitize its video content and offer it to everyone in the world for free, and you can watch a growing selection on Google Video.
http://video.google.com/nara.html
Internet Ad Campaign Making Dramatic Impact
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An important announcement from our friends at CareNet
Internet Ad Campaign Making Dramatic Impact
80,000 women visit CareNet's website each month
The sad fact is many women simply do not know all of their pregnancy options. They do not know the truth that abortion hurts women. Women have bought the lie that abortion is just another routine medical procedure, that the babies they are carrying are merely "blobs of tissue." That's why AFA has joined hands with the pro-life ministry of Care Net in supporting the LifeDonor Network.
We have learned that one of the most cost effective ways to reach pregnant women is through the Internet. And we can use the Internet to lead women to a secure place where they can learn their options, talk to loving counselors, and find a local Pregnancy Counseling Center in their area.
With the help of current donors to the LifeDonor Network, Care Net's website for women in crisis was able to directly communicate to over 80,000 women in the past few months because of internet advertising.
Recently a young man was helped who wanted his pregnant girlfriend to get an abortion. After searching for the word "abortion" online, he saw our ad and visited the Care Net website aimed at helping clients make positive decisions. He has now learned the truth and wants to choose life!
Please consider joining the LifeDonor Network. It only takes a small monthly contribution and your support WILL save lives!
P.S. Please forward this to your family and friends!
22 March 2006
KNWS FriendRaiser 2006
Dear Friend,
The new life that arrives each spring never fails to renew my spirit. In many ways, it reminds me of the personal renewal I have experienced time and time again at the hands of our loving God.
As you may know, spring is also the season when Life 101.9 FM/AM 1090 sponsors our annual FriendRaiser. This year, we need help from faithful listening friends like you for two important goals:
First, we are working to ensure uninterrupted ministry for you and our other listeners by adding an emergency generator to power our studio (if the electricity goes out, we go off the air!) and upgrading our Jesup tower into an effective backup that we can switch to if a storm knocks out our primary antenna. We’re also equipping a studio in our building so we can better prepare programming to minister to you.
Second, we are supporting the Radio School of Missions in Singapore—one of our long-term partners—by raising scholarships for students from South Pacific countries. They will learn to lead radio ministries that impact entire regions of the world for Jesus.
I hope you will continue partnering with us by supporting this very special effort. You can do so by making your secure online donation here. It’s quick, easy and safe . . . and most of all, you’ll have the satisfaction of knowing your contribution makes an eternal difference right here in eastern Iowa.
Thank you friend and God bless you.
Yours in Christ,
Doug Smith
Station Manager
Participate in Photo Memorial to Lives lost to Tobacco
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21 March 2006
GCFL: Pocket Taser Stun Gun: A Great Gift for the Wife
Sent Friday, March 3, 2006
This was submitted by a guy who purchased his lovely wife a "pocket Taser" for their anniversary.
Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 22nd anniversary, and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Toni. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized Taser. The consequences of the Taser were supposed to be short lived, with no long-term adverse effects on her assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety.... WAY TOO COOL!
Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I loaded two triple-A batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button AND pressed it against a metal surface at the same time, I'd get the blue arch of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs. Awesome!!!
Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Toni what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave.
Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two triple-A batteries, right?!!!
There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target. I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong?
So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, Taser in another. The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water.
Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries.
All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5 inches long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference -- pretty cute, really -- and loaded with two itsy, bitsy triple-A batteries, thinking to myself, "No possible way!"
What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best.....
I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side as if to say, "Don't do it, master," reasoning that a one-second burst from such a tiny little ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad.... I decided to give myself a one-second burst just for the heck of it. I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and HOLY WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION!!!
I'm pretty sure Jessie Ventura ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, and then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs. The cat was standing over me making meowing sounds I had never heard before, licking my face, undoubtedly thinking to herself, "Do it again, do it again!"
Note: If you ever feel compelled to "mug" yourself with a Taser, one note of caution: there is no such thing as a one-second burst when you zap yourself. You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor. A three-second burst would be considered conservative.
A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up, and surveyed the landscape. My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace. How did they get up there???
My triceps, right thigh, and both nipples were still twitching. My face felt as if it had been shot up with Novocain and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs.
Still in shock,
Tommy
Received from Chris Payne.
From http://www.GCFL.net: The Good, Clean Funnies List
Remember when the funniest jokes were the clean ones? They still are! Good, clean funnies five times a week, FOR FREE! ... AND NO ADS IN THE MAILINGS!
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A cheerful heart is good medicine... (Prov 17:22a)© Copyright 1997-2006, GCFL.net.
God's Cross Reference
--You say: "It's impossible"
GCFL: Collect Call
Sent Tuesday, March 21, 2006
My mother was away all weekend at a business conference.
During a break, she decided to call home collect. My six-year-old brother picked up the phone and heard a stranger's voice say, "We have a Betty on the line. Will you accept the charges?"
Frantic, he dropped the receiver and came charging outside screaming, "Dad! They've got Mom! And they want money!"
Received from Cybersalt Digest.
From http://www.GCFL.net: The Good, Clean Funnies List
Remember when the funniest jokes were the clean ones? They still are! Good, clean funnies five times a week, FOR FREE! ... AND NO ADS IN THE MAILINGS!
For subscription and other information, go to our web page at http://www.GCFL.net, or send email to info at gcfl dot net.
A cheerful heart is good medicine... (Prov 17:22a)© Copyright 1997-2006, GCFL.net.
20 March 2006
In my in-box today...
With the huge capacity and slow moving people taking their time to stuff luggage far too big for the overhead and never paying much attention to holding up the growing line behind them, I simply shook my head knowing that this flight was not starting out very well. I was anxious to get home to see my loved ones so I was focused on my issues and just felt like standing up and yelling for some of these clowns to get their act together.
I knew I couldn't say a word so I just thumbed thru the "Sky Mall" magazine from the seat pocket in front of me.
You know it's really getting rough when you resort to the over priced, useless sky mall crap to break the monotony.
With everyone finally seated, we just sat there with the cabin door open and no one in any hurry to get us going although we were well past the scheduled take off time.
No wonder the airline industry is in trouble I told myself.
Just then, the attendant came on the intercom to inform us all that we were being delayed.
The entire plane let out a collective groan.
She resumed speaking to say "We are holding the aircraft for some very special people who are on their way to the plane and the delay shouldn't be more than 5 minutes.
The word came after waiting six times as long as we were promised that I was finally going to be on my way home.
Why the hoopla over "these" folks?
I was expecting some celebrity or sport figure to be the reason for the hold up ..
Just get their butts in a seat and let's hit the gas I thought.
The attendant came back on the speaker to announce in a loud and excited voice that we were being joined by several U.S. Marines returning home from Iraq!
Just as they walked on board, the entire plane erupted into applause.
The men were a bit taken by surprise by the 340 people cheering for them as they searched for their seats.
They were having their hands shook and touched by almost everyone who was within an arm's distance of them as they passed down the aisle. One elderly woman kissed the hand of one of the Marines as he passed by her.
The applause, whistles and cheering didn't stop for a long time.
When we were finally airborne, I was not the only civilian checking his conscience as to the delays in "me" getting home, finding my easy chair, a cold beverage and the remote in my hand.
These men had done for all of us and I had been complaining silently about "me" and "my" issues I took for granted the everyday freedoms I enjoy and the conveniences of the American way of life.
I took for granted that others had paid the price for my ability to moan and complain about a few minutes delay to "me" while those Heroes were going home to their loved ones.
I attempted to get my selfish outlook back in order and minutes before we landed, I suggested to the attendant that she announce over the speaker a request for everyone to remain in their seats until our heroes were allowed to gather their things and be first off the plane.
The cheers and applause continued until the last Marine stepped off and we all rose to go about our too often taken for granted everyday freedoms.
I felt proud of them.
I felt it an honor and a privilege to be among the first to welcome them home and say "Thank You for a job well done."
I vowed that I will never forget that flight nor the lesson learned. I can't say it enough, THANK YOU to those Veterans and active servicemen and women who may read this and a prayer for those who cannot because they are no longer with us.
GOD BLESSAMERICA!
WELCOME HOME! AND THANKS FOR A JOB WELL DONE!!!!!
17 March 2006
GCFL: Children's Laws
Sent Friday, March 10, 2006
Laws Concerning Food and Drink
Household Principles
Lamentations of the Father
by Ian Frazier
*Laws of Forbidden Places*
Of the beasts of the field, and of the fishes of the sea, and of all foods that are acceptable in my sight you may eat, but not in the living room.
Of the hoofed animals, broiled or ground into burgers, you may eat, but not in the living room.
Of the cereal grains, of the corn and of the wheat and of the oats, and of all the cereals that are of bright color and unknown provenance you may eat, but not in the living room.
Of quiescently frozen dessert and of all frozen after-meal treats you may eat, but absolutely not in the living room. Of the juices and other beverages, yes, even of those in sippy-cups, you may drink, but not in the living room, neither may you carry such therein.
Indeed, when you reach the place where the living room carpet begins, of any food or beverage therein you may not eat, neither may you drink.
But if you are sick, and are lying down and watching something, then may you eat in the living room.
*Laws When at Table*
And if you are seated in your high chair, or in a chair such as a greater person might use, keep your legs and feet below you as they were.
Neither raise up your knees, nor place your feet upon the table, for that is an abomination to me.
Yes, even when you have an interesting bandage to show, your feet upon the table are an abomination, and worthy of rebuke.
Drink your milk as it is given you, neither use on it any utensils, nor fork, nor knife, nor spoon, for that is not what they are for; if you will dip your blocks in the milk, and lick it off, you will be sent away from my presence.
When you have drunk, let the empty cup then remain upon the table, and do not bite it upon its edge and by your teeth hold it to your face in order to make noises in it sounding like a duck: for you will be sent away from my presence.
When you chew your food, keep your mouth closed until you have swallowed, and do not open it to show your brother or your sister what is within; verily I say to you, do not so, even if your brother or your sister has done the same before you.
Eat your food only; do not eat that which is not food; neither seize the table between your jaws, nor use the raiment of the table to wipe your lips. I say again to you, do not touch it, but leave it as it is.
And though your stick of carrot does indeed resemble a marker, draw not with it upon the table, even in pretend, because we do not do that, that is why.
And though the pieces of broccoli are very like small trees, do not stand them upright to make a forest, because we do not do that, that is why.
Sit just as I have told you, and do not lean to one side or the other, nor slide down until you are nearly slid away.
Heed me; for if you sit like that, your hair will go into the syrup.
And now behold.....even as I have said, it has come to pass.
*Laws Pertaining to Dessert*
For as we judge between the plate that is unclean and the plate that is clean, saying first, if the plate is clean, then you shall have dessert.
But of the unclean plate, the laws are these:
If ye have eaten most of your meat, and two bites of your peas with each bite consisting of not less than three peas each, or in total six peas, eaten where I can see, and you have also eaten enough of your potatoes to fill two forks, both forkfuls eaten where I can see, then ye shall have dessert.
But if ye eat a lesser number of peas, and yet ye eat the potatoes, still ye shall not have dessert; and if ye eat the peas, yet leave the potatoes uneaten, ye shall not have dessert, no, verily I say unto you, not even a small portion thereof!
And if thou tries to deceive by moving the potatoes or peas around with a fork, that it may appear that thou hast eaten what thou hast not, ye will fall into iniquity.
And I will know, and ye shall have no dessert.
*On Screaming*
Do not scream; for it is as if you scream all the time.
If ye are given a plate on which two foods ye do not wish to touch each other are touching each other, and your voice rises up even unto the ceiling, while ye point to the offense with the finger of your right hand; but I say unto you, scream not, only remonstrate gently with the server, that the server may correct his transgression and peace shall prevail throughout the land.
Likewise if ye receive a portion of fish from which every piece of herbal seasoning has not been scraped off, and the herbal seasoning is loathsome to you and steeped in vileness, again I say, verily, refrain from screaming.
Though the vileness overwhelm you, and cause you a faint unto death, make not that sound from within your throat, neither cover your face, nor press your fingers to your nose.
For even as I have made the fish, and it is as it should be; behold, I eat it myself, yet do not die.
*Concerning Face and Hands*
Cast your countenance upward unto the light, and lift your eyes to the hills, that I may more easily wash you off.
For the stains are upon you; even to the very back of your head, and there is rice thereon.
And in the breast pocket of your garment, and upon the tie of your shoe, rice and other fragments are distributed in a manner beyond comprehension!
Only hold thyself still; hold still, I say.
Give unto each finger in its turn for my examination thereof, and also each thumb.
Lo, how iniquitous they appear.
What I do is as it must be; and you shall not go henceforth until I have done.
*Various Other Laws, Statutes, and Ordinances*
Bite not, lest you be cast into quiet time.
Neither drink of your own bath water, nor of the bath water of any beast of the field, or any fowl of the air nor of any kind; nor rub your feet on bread, even if it be in the package; nor rub your feet against cars, not against any building; nor eat sand.
Leave the cat alone, for what hath the cat done, that you should go forth and afflict it so and bindeth it with tape?
And hum not the humming in your nose as I read, nor stand between the light and the book.
Verily I say unto you, you will drive me to madness.
Neither forget what I said about the tape.
[Ian Frazier, "Laws Concerning Food and Drink: Household Principles, Lamentations of the Father," The Atlantic Monthly, February 1997, Volume 279, No. 2, pages 89-90.]
Received from S.McEntire.
From http://www.GCFL.net: The Good, Clean Funnies List
Remember when the funniest jokes were the clean ones? They still are! Good, clean funnies five times a week, FOR FREE! ... AND NO ADS IN THE MAILINGS!
For subscription and other information, go to our web page at http://www.GCFL.net, or send email to info at gcfl dot net.
A cheerful heart is good medicine... (Prov 17:22a)© Copyright 1997-2006, GCFL.net.
16 March 2006
Iowan charged in Internet child porn ring
REGISTER STAFF WRITER
March 16, 2006
An Osceola woman was a mastermind behind an international online pornography business that specialized in live child molestations, federal authorities alleged Wednesday.
Lisa A. Winebrenner was charged in federal court in Chicago with... (Click below to continue the story)
15 March 2006
What is the origin of the word God?
Check out the 'Dictionary.com Word FAQs' for more...
[In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth. - Genesis 1:1 KJV]
What is the origin of Salisbury steak? How about hamburger?
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What is the origin of the word Christmas?
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What is the difference between affect and effect?
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What is the difference between i.e. and e.g.?
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What is the difference between dinner and supper?
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What is the difference between a vegetable and a fruit?
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Does anything rhyme with "orange?"
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